maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
