i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize
