A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
