soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
