Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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