she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
