I bet he comes in French.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
