hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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