I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I am available for nakedness
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize