do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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