I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
