Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
He did a backflip because drugs
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
