So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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