But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
