Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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