My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
My life is pants optional.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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