Old men and throwing up are my life now.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
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