Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize