I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Randomize
