Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
