come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize