Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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