One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
