My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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