Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
