Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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