AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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