And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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