i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
