How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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