She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
