my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
