I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
