you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
His nipple licking is glorious
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