Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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