kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize