My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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