fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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