I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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