His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
