you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
