sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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