I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize