Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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