u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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