oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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