I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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