There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
