Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
