is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Randomize
