He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
