I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
