Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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