Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
