If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
The feeling are messing with the penis
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
