we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
