My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
