it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
They have beer where we have blood.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Randomize
