Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
