I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
