U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
