I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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