He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
