I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
