So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
