thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
