Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
