3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
