Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize