All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
