Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
