Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
The adults are the big ones right?
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