yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
