have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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